Travel Alone
by Chibi Haku
Summary: (Erm. Edward cusses a couple of times.)But what was probably even more incredible than Edward asking for a mission was the fact that he was asking for one that he had to do alone. Solo. As in, without his brother around. (Elricest)


_A/n: There are a select few songs in this world that make Haku's brain hurt._

_They include:  
Bother – Corey Taylor  
Brother My brother – Blessid Union of Souls  
He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother – The Animals  
And, 10 Days - Missy Higgins  
_

_Why do they hurt my brain? Because they give me the evil Elricest wibblies and Plotbunnies. I feel that it is important to note at this point that Elricest is one pairing I just can't get my head around, no matter how many fics I read. (Which is something like 20, because I like to like the majority of pairings on offer, instead of being bias.)_

_And then they go and break my brain by playing one after another on my play list, and my brain finally gives up and forcefully DEMANDS I write Elricest. _

_Blame the plotbunnies and the demons of brain breaking._

_And then call the mental hospital and commit me. Please. For the love of God._

_

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* * *

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"Please. Just a week even. Send me someplace where he can't follow." There was a pleading note to Edward Elrics' voice as he asked (Though begged was probably a better word for no one had probably seen the boy this desperate) for a mission.

This of course, put Colonel Roy Mustang at a loss for words. Edward NEVER asked for missions, tried to fob them off whenever there was nothing of interest in them, and deliberately stalled coming back to Central City for the simple fact that he would be given another one (and a stern order to not loose his temper _this time_) But what was probably even more incredible than Edward asking for a mission was the fact that he was asking for one that he had to do alone.

Solo.

As in, without his brother around.

"I don't see why, Fullmetal." The colonel replied in an airy tone trying to hide the fact that Edward's out of character behaviour had thrown him off guard for a moment.

"Look. I'm desperate." Edward replied, and he definitely sounded it. "Normally I wouldn't ask, because you're bound to give me shit about needing a chaperone or something. But I _need_ this." He stared at Mustang for a moment, golden eyes clear and pleading.

Roy Mustang raised a carefully sculpted brow. "Oh?" The single syllable said it all. Regretfully, it also demonstrated his confusion quite nicely.

"I'm not about to explain why." Edward stated. "I don't think I even can." The caged look that appeared on his face, before it was chased away by misery was enough for Roy to take pity. Something he very rarely did in the case of Edward Elric.

He sighed. "I'll see if I can find something for you."

Edward slumped forward in relief. "Thank you." The disturbing thing was he sounded like he meant it.

* * *

"I don't see why this is necessary, brother." Was the first thing Al said at the train station. He'd come out to see Edward off and his elder sibling was much more jumpy than usual. "Why can't I come with you?"

His brother laughed shakily. "It's a restricted zone; Al. Somewhere that only military personnel can go. I'm afraid you're going to sit this one out." Yes, that was the reasoning Edward had given him all week.

But the reasoning had never stopped Edward before. It had never stopped him from letting Al come along at least to check things out. It shouldn't have hurt as much as it did but after 5 years in a suit of armour, Al had quickly learnt that there was a large difference between the 'should haves' and reality.

He had been attempting to puzzle it out for three days, since the morning Edward had come home from the office and stated that Mustang had given him another mission, but "Sorry, Al, I have to do this one alone." It wasn't so much the fact Edward had to fly solo for once that hurt Al deeply; it was the fact that his brother had used a slightly relieved tone.

After he'd realised, he'd been properly horrified with himself but it had still been said and done. Didn't Edward care for him anymore? And if so, what had Alphonse done?

Edward grinned as a whistle sounded somewhere in the station. "See ya, Al. I'll be back in two weeks."

And why did Al feel so horribly lonely as soon as his brother entered the train? He had known this day would come eventually. It was a part of growing up after all.

He shouldn't have been so distressed that his brother wanted to be away from him. But he was.

* * *

Edward sighed with relief as he slid down on the train seat. He had remembered trying to explain it to Alphonse the day after Mustang provided him with the opening. But he couldn't explain that he needed time alone to think without his brother... distracting him.

And Heaven be damned (If it existed) if he let Al find out what he was distracted by.

_Fuck._ He groaned inwardly. _There are laws against this, Edward Elric. There's fucking REASONS why it's wrong. _ He slumped lower onto the uncomfortable and too hard bench.

Hell, if Alphonse found out exactly _why_ Edward had decided to go it alone for once he would be horrified. He'd probably call Edward everything under the sun and then leave him for good. And Edward didn't think that with the way his emotionally messed up brain was functioning at the moment that would be a good thing.

It had been painful to realise that he had announced he was leaving to his brother in a relieved voice. It had been worse to discover that Alphonse had begun to think that it was his fault and badgered Edward about what he'd done wrong.

And it had been hardest to admit that Alphonse hadn't done wrong, Edward just needed some time to think. Alone. This of course had made Al think that he had done something wrong and Edward was just trying to protect him. "Fuck." Edward moaned to himself as he looed out the window. He'd come on this mission to _stop_ thinking about the manner in which he was thinking about Alphonse recently. He'd come to see if maybe the thoughts plaguing him were just because he'd spent a little too much time around Al recently and he just needed a break.

Granted, he hadn't thought about his brother this way before puberty had struck.

He groaned and banged his head against the train window. _Stop thinking about him Edward! It's not helping._

Casting around for another topic, Edward decided to think ahead on the mission that Mustang had granted him. It didn't sound like anything out of the ordinary, investigating a small farm on the outskirts of some small town where some odd shaped cows had appeared recently. "Try to be inconspicuous." Mustang had goaded him. "Though without your brother around I don't think that anyone will notice you anyway." Edward had taken some loud and dramatic offence to that and it had felt gratefully normal.

Though of course now he couldn't tell which part he'd taken offence to, the implied slur on his height, or the fact that if his brother wasn't there he'd be a little too hot headed to cope.

But most of the time he was only hot headed to hide the growing uncomfortableness around his brother. Nothing mo... _Stopitstopitstopit!_ He told himself forcefully. _I came out here to stop thinking about that!_

The scenery raced past the window and Edward sighed. Something told him that it would be a long train ride.

* * *

"_How's the investigation coming along, Fullmetal?_" Mustang's overly smug voice carried down the line to his ears and he shuddered. Talking to the man wasn't what he'd intended to do, but Alphonse had told him to call when he was in the town the town just to know that he'd got there safely.

Edward was secretly glad that Alphonse hadn't specified just who he wanted Ed to call.

He was also glad that Alphonse hadn't specified to call as soon as he arrived. He had put it off a day and gone straight t work on the investigation.

"Fine. Fine." He muttered darkly. "It turns out there's nothing wrong down here. The cows were just freak mutations due to traces of radioactive Iodine in the river. I took it to the mayor, and he should be looking out for it now." He growled into the receiver. "They won't stop mining is the problem. The radioactive salts wouldn't be disturbed if they stopped searching for new and rarer materials."

Mustang's chuckle was barely audible over the crackling of the bad connection. "_You can hardly expect a town to stop prospering, Edward. The mine is their main source of income._"

Edward also thought that the town wouldn't be around much longer if the radiation was to continue the way it was, but he didn't bring it up. He'd probably only be greeted with some snarky comment anyway.

"_Oh, by the way, Edward. Your brother is here and would like to talk to you._" Edward immediately yelped.

"Nonono, really it's fine you don't have to put him on. Just tell him that everything is fine down here and..." He cut short his blathering when he heard the receiver change hands. _Crap._ He commented inwardly.

"_Brother?_" Alphonse's familiar tinny voice rang down the receiver and Edward felt a pang of both guilt and longing at the same time.

"H... hey Al." He stammered quickly, ignoring the blush that was rising up his cheeks.

Alphonse's tone brightened considerably as he spoke, but it sounded too cheery to be real. "_How has your mission been, Brother?" _And if an edge of resentment crept into Al's voice, Edward purposefully ignored it.

"Good, but it would be better if you were down here." He lied.

Alphonse caught it. "_Look, brother, if you don't want me around you can just say so you know._" He growled in a tone that really didn't suit him.

The phone at the other end clicked down so forcefully that Edward didn't have time to reply.

* * *

By the end of the fifth day in the town, Edward was going insane with loneliness. It wasn't like there wasn't anything to _do_ in the town, he'd visited the mine, toured some of the farms that were scattered about the place and even learnt how to milk a cow. (Edward realised in the process that no, he was never going to like milk. Ever. Especially not now that he had solid evidence of its origins.) The town centre was fascinating with all it's little shops, (just as he expected it to be) and there was a quaint little restaurant-slash-tea room that he had grown rather fond of (They made a hearty stew and Edward had taken to haunting the shop around lunchtimes, much to the amusement of the owners). He'd even bought Al a souvenir, remembered that Al was angry with him, but stashed it in his suitcase anyway.

It wasn't the fact that he had run out of things to do. The small town still had plenty more shops for him to explore and one of the main reasons he had been sent out here was because the town was too small for an alchemist and the military outpost had needed a consultant. It was just the fact that he was doing it all alone that really made him hyperaware of the brooding feelings inside him.

Or, more accurately, he had realised, it was because his brother wasn't there.

It shouldn't have felt wrong waking up in the small motel, knowing that his brother wasn't in the bed across from him. It shouldn't have felt wrong walking through the shelves of the craft shops and not hearing Al exclaim over the cat figurines and begging to bring just one home to the dorms. And it shouldn't have felt wrong to not have a playful argument over whether or not to bring Mustang back a gift or not, because really, if the man wanted something he should have come out and got it himself.

But the should nots couldn't change the fact that it most certainly did feel wrong.

He growled inwardly, making up his mind suddenly as he browsed the dusty shelves of the second hand bookstore. (Just to the left of the main square, down a side road and across from the grocery.) His escape plan had failed. He had to go home.

He just couldn't stand it anymore.

* * *

The train rolled into the station, the blonde jumping off it before it had even stopped. He ran as fast as his legs could carry him to the military dorms because, damnit, there was someone important waiting at the end of that long run and he wouldn't stop for the world until he reached them.

Up two flights of stairs, down a hallway and through a door, and he suddenly stopped, because there the other was. Panting, Edward grinned magnificently at the startled look he sensed coming off the other.

"Brother...? But I thought you didn't get home for another wee...?" The shock was cut off as Edward lunged forward into Al's arms and sighed at the sense of belonging that washed over him.

It took a moment, but two hollow metal arms wrapped around him as well. And they stayed there like that just basking in the other and the abolishment of loneliness

"Al?" Edward whispered after a while as if talking any louder would break that sense of completion.

"Yes?" Al had replied.

"Don't let me leave you behind, ever again."

* * *

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_A/n: Okay. Kill me. For the love of God, kill me.  
_

_If that was terrible I apologise. I think I broke my brain writing it._

_Bad Haku, BAD!_

But still... Feed a hungry Authoress? –Blinks and holds up a little 'review?' sign-


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